2/21/08

A Prayer of a Friend

Lord,I apologize..for everything.I apologize now, in front of the ones I love, for all that I've failed to do.I apologize for the days I forgot about you.How can I forget about you?! You're my creator, my savior, my love! But those days that I forgot about you, you still loved me. You still walked by my side. You still protected me. You NEVER forgot about me when I forgot about you. Lord, I won't forget. I can't forget. For its your love, that I'm here.I apologize for the days I did remember you, but put you last. I apologize for putting you at the bottom of my list of things to do. I apologize for putting others before you. How can I put you last?! When you made sure to put me first in your mind everyday, when you thought about me first when you were DYING on the cross! Lord, I apologize. I won't put you last anymore. I can't put you last anymore. For its your love, that I'm here, because you thought of me first.I apologize for playing the game. I apologize for pretending. I apologize for the days that I said I read my Bible, and the days I said I prayed, and the days I said I did my devotion, when I honestly didn't Lord. I apologize for lying to people, and I apologize for lying to you most importantly. You didn't just pretend to die for me, you didn't just pretend to have the spear pierced through your side, you didn't just pretend to have nails driven into your precious palms and feet. You didn't just pretend to have a crown of thorns pierced through your scalp. You DID it Lord. You did it with the most compassion, love, and kindness in your heart. Cause you weren't pretending. So Lord, I apologize again. I apologize for being the one to drive those nails and thorns into you Lord, because its because of my sin that you did that Lord. I can't thank you enough! I won't pretend anymore, I can't pretend anymore. For its your love and pain on that cross, that I'm here. Thank you Lord.I apologize too Lord for the chances I didn't take. I apologize for ignoring every opportunity you placed in front of me to witness. I apologize for thinking about me instead of my friends, or the stranger in front of me who needed you Lord. Because now, because of my selfishness. Their blood will be on my hands, Lord. I apologize for the endless amount of selfishness I had in my heart, when it was my turn to feel pain. I'm feeling it now Lord. I'm sorry for being selfish. To the ones that I could have witnessed to, to the ones that may never know about Christ because of me, I apologize. I apologize with the deepest sincerity. I hope someday someone is less selfish than me, and thinks of you first. Like Christ did for us. So I apologize once again. I won't be selfish. I can't be selfish. For its your love and unselfishness, that I'm here.I love you Lord. And I know I've done wrong. I know I've failed you many times before. But I'm sorry Lord. I'm done being selfish and thinking about myself. Its all about you Lord. All I need is you and your love Lord. I will be a light for you. And not a flickering, fading light. I will shine bright for all to see, because its not about me, its about you. Thank you Lord.

This prayer was written by Brittany Boyd, a girl I go to church with. As I reflected over it, I realzied how true it was, and how much I needed it to be my prayer as well. How many times I have I not shown Christ love to someone who is hurting because of my selfness. So, it is my prayer and I hope it might even be yours too.

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