4/17/08

Being Transparent

The emotions are coming back again. Everything that I have worked so hard for the past year and a half feels like it has been cut down. (literally). Over the past year and a half I have really been working on learning about true beauty. I had bought into the lie that beauty was determined by your waist line, and perfect hair. Well, today the lie came whispering again. I got my hair cut, and they lady cut off more than I would like (let's just say for all of the Brio readers that the 30Th came a few days early).

As I sat talking to my friend, kind of distressed, I began to think (and kind of get mad). I know that I know that I know that beauty is not based on outward appearances, but since part of my outward appearance has been altered, I'm having an issue with it. It's the craziest thing I have ever experienced in my life.

I know that just because my hair had been cut doesn't make me ugly. I know in my heart and in my mind that beauty is not defined by this, but my emotions don't agree. I know Satan is whispering lies into my ear. "How could you do something so dumb", "No one is going to like you because you got your hair cut", "The next six weeks are going to be the worst of your life because of your hair". As I hear those things being whispered part of me wants to believe him, yet my heart and mind are yelling, "LIAR LIAR LIAR", "THE KING IS ENTHRALLED MY YOUR BEAUTY; HONOR HIM FOR HE IS YOU LORD", AND "I PRAISE YOU BECAUSE I AM FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE. YOUR WORKS ARE WONDERFUL, I KNOW THAT FULL WELL".

Now, I even know that this is crazy, getting all upset over a hair cut, but it's something that I struggle with. Tomorrow will be a tough day, but I know that God is going to be right there beside me, holding my hand and leading the way, all of the time being enthralled by my beauty.

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